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Wednesday, 11 February 2009

  • What is something you want to accomplish now to tell your grandchildren about in the future?

    How I have traveled the world and the different cultures that  I would have encountered. That we are all one great big life cycle that is continously flowing and growing.

       

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  • I think I am going to tell......

     Does anyone else feel this is wrong?

          I have been thinking about doing something for the longest time. I am thinking of tell my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend that we have another kid together that is about five months younger then the one she has with him. Now she is about to have another child with him. Yes before anyone get judgemental on me about the fact of him cheating on her and me participating in the situation. I know it was wrong but that was then and this is now. He wants to deny this child we have but wants to keep acknowledging the other child we have together. I don't feel that this is right. Does anyone else feel that this is wrong? I told him when him and her were having problems that he should tell her because it would get everything out in the open and she would have no surprises later for her to get mad at him about. Unfortunately he didn't see the wisdom in that decision only the fact that it would make things worst and he would be out on his ass I guess. I didn't believe it for out of all the stuff that has gone on with the two of them I am sure she would have gotten over it and accepted it. I am tired of carrying this secret for him and now my other child is asking questions about his little brother. I tell him that his dad is his brothers dad, but he wonders why he does things with him and his girlfriends son that they have together and don't do anything with his other little brother at home. I don't know how to explain it to him. I often think of them growing up and how I would have to explain things to him. I wonder if it would cause a riff between the two brother who love each other so much now. I know this other baby I have was not a planned thing I did protect myself, but things happen. But the baby he has with his girlfriend was not a planned thing either that baby came from a rebound of another relationship. And now to be told that he is having another one while he still denies this one is a bit crazy to me.

           So now I am faced with the decision of whether or not I should just come straight out and tell her. Or just sit back and do nothing and wait for the eventual fall out. Yet still he (my youngest son) suffers from the lack of attention from the father he should know. I don't know how he could come and visit with his other son and not pay to the baby that we have together.

           I know that we all make our choices and we have to deal with the choices that we make. It seems though I am the only one that is dealing with it. He is living his life with his girlfriend in what she thinks is bliss and in actuality the rug can be dragged from under her feet.

           I was just wondering if maybe through some objective opinions that I could possibly make a decision that would help me in my dilemma.

           

     

Wednesday, 04 February 2009

Friday, 30 January 2009

  • Choices...

    Have you ever had to make a decision that you know would affect a lot of lives? You know how it is going to hurt a lot of individuals and you don't want to hurt them, but it is necessary for the next step in life. Do you do what is expected or keep silent and just let things be? The long term affects can be brutal either way one softer then the other. One more explainable then the other. Such a dilemma, What would you do?

Friday, 23 January 2009

  • Love is a bitch!

    I hate LOVE, I love LOVE what the hell is it. It makes me absolutely crazy. I hate the way that it makes us do stupid things for it. How it can some times fill a hole within us that we think needs to be filled. I hate when you Love someone that doesn't Love you back. A person that would take your Love and use it for his/her personal gain.  How he/she can just manipulate you and feed off of your heart and desires. Then fill you full of false dreams that you don't even know what reality is anymore.

    It is said that Love makes the world go round. I think that it makes more hurt then joy. Yes...I might be saying this because I am coming from a place of hurt. I fell for someone that I shouldn't have and gave him all of me and I now have two children as proof of this. Sure one we decided to have and the other came as an unexpected event. We are not together anymore and thinking about it now I don't think we were ever together. There has always been a force between us when I look at it now. I am sure he would put the blame on someone else as usual instead of taking the responsibility for his actions as I have on a number of occasions. I have set myself up once again for a down fall and now that is where I am. The truly sad thing about the whole entire thing is that while he owns up to one of his children he will not with the other. Due to the fact that he did not ask for that one but yet still because he was living with another and they had a child he will own up to that one. Mind you through out long lengthy conversations he had not wanted the child with the one he was living with. I don't mind the other child at all I just want what is fair for mine. The acknowledgement and the right for the child to bear his rightful last name. Is that so wrong of me? I have not asked for no financial support for the child. What is wrong with him having his sir name. I guess it is because the new girl friend does not know that he has cheated on her with me a number of times. I am sure I was being used. That is were that damn Love came in. I forgave the differences we had and let it go and moved on. Situation with him changed and he showed interest and I guess my feelings had not really changed just buried under all of the hostility that I had.

    What makes this whole entire situation bad is that I try to stay cordial with this person because of the fact that we have children in common. If we didn't I know that if my heart could truly speak it would constantly tell him of how he hurts me emotionally. It seems like that hurts worst then anything physical. Physical scares can go away but emotional seem to last forever. I have cut my ties to him no unscheduled visits and sticking to him seeing one of his sons until he is willing to acknowledge his other one. Or whatever happens that might happen....

    All I want is for my baby to have what is due him "His Rightful Sir Name"! Is that wrong?

Mocha_Challenge

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    • Name: Mocha_Challenge
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 1/20/2009

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